Part 12
Plant Chapter, An EXPLOSIVE Situation---
Sorry for that horrible pun. No I'm not. He's an otter. You DO NOT want to know what private army soldiers do in their spare time, okay? Go hide somewhere! All work and no play makes Pete a dull boy. "The darkness comes..." I called Rosemary to save my game. Aw shit. Dude, just tell her she can't cook, then teach her. Actually, that's a horrifyingly bad idea. I wonder if Raiden flips the lobster over to inflict massive dama- Sorry. I didn't capture it, but Raiden goes "Whew" right after this. Going out onto the Shell 2 connecting bridge reveals an unconcious guard and this gem. I honestly think Snake, er, Pliskin has a box fetish. TELL ME WHERE THE BOMB IS THERE'S NO TIME Pete smells something fishy (might be Fatface's cologne). There's another bomb in the transformer room where Vamp had lunch. Why can't I have Sub-Zero's powers right now? Let's roll. SLEEEEP. The, er, Pipe Room in Strut A has another bomb... PIPES, THE NEW CRATE Freeze! Ha ha ha, get it? Ha ha ha Fatshit moves around on roller blades and has his hands manicured, and you're expecting rationality? Oh kay. Might as well get this over with, but FATCRAP IS A PATRIOT SPY SENT IN TO EVALUATE RAIDEN'S PERFORMANCE. Huff puff. I decided to cartwheel up to Strut A's roof, but it ended in disaster. Moving on to the warehouse... I once shot a Cypher in Reno just to watch it explode. Fun Thing: Shoot a guard in the head while he is over a railing, and he will topple over it action movie style, and scream all the way down. It ain't the fall that gets ya...it's the sudden stop at the bottom. (we really need a Riddick emoticon) Inside the warehouse, I pull a stick-em-up on the guard there, then run off. I guess Gurlukovich men are still effected by Chernobyl, because he can't hear me run away, nor does he at least tilt his head to check if I'm still there after a few minutes. I accidentally stepped in front of him without a weapon drawn, and he kicks me in the face. Then gets a helping of lead. Then more mooks rush in, thinking it a good idea to run directly at me while I open fire. Might as well clear out the rest of the ass badgers. Freezing another bomb... New toy! Raiden further demonstrates his ineptitude when it comes to stairs. Moving out onto the next bridge reveals this caller. Hmm. Where have I seen this before? "You mean I can't pull an Owen Wilson and just run through all the explosions in slo-mo? Fuck this." Raiden's tying his shoe or summint. "You mean the informant from the Watergate scandal or the movie? I tried getting Rose to watch it and she hated it. " Somebody didn't pay attention in their US government class. Because it's incredibly gay. Duh. Raiden's got a Goon Crush! His Codec is slowly turning into an e/n thread.
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Will we defuse the shit out of some more bombs? Will Peter reveal that he is a lying bastard? Are we gonna cap a fat guy on roller blades? Damn straight.